So, I had a baby three months ago. THREE MONTHS. I know everyone says that infancy goes by so fast – yadda yadda – but seriously. If you think it goes by fast with the first kid, just wait on the second. I’m assuming time is flying faster this go ’round because I am busier and my attention is split in more directions. When I say “three months” out loud, it sounds weird. Like she can’t possibly be that old. Anyway.
The last 12 weeks have been interesting. I’ve been a mom for six years. I’ve had a little experience. Well. Charlie didn’t/doesn’t care about my experience. She has challenged every single thing I thought I knew about newborns. She literally couldn’t be any more different from the way Grayson was at her age. She’s extremely high maintenance. She’s super vocal. She hates the car. She sleeps very light. She is easily bothered. She won’t sleep alone… I could go on and on, but you get it. (Let me be clear: I am aware that she is probably the NORMAL baby and Grayson was probably the anomaly. Nevertheless, it’s a shock to my system.) Bear in mind it has also been six years since I’ve done this, and Grayson and I have been attached at the hip during that time. He’s had all of my attention. Going from one kid to two is a big adjustment.
If you’re having a second child soon, I just want to share a few things.
1. Your older child might have moments of super-drama and Oscar worthy meltdowns. We have had the occasional “YOU ONLY LOVE CHARLIE!” explosions and stomping out of the room.
2. You will really miss quality time with the older child, especially if your newborn is particularly needy. It’s hard to not be able to go snuggle your big kid alone when you want to because the baby needs you more. I try as much as possible to squeeze in a few alone moments with him.
3. It IS possible to love another child as much as you love your first. I don’t know how. But it is.
4. Be prepared for how much your older child will love the new baby. I think Grayson would kiss her all over, all the time if I let him. He has pictures of Charlie taped all over his wall and heart stickers. Even when he craves attention from us, he still adores his sister.
5. You WILL get used to having two kids and slowly ease into a routine. At first it seems like your head is on backwards and it feels impossible, but it does get easier. For me, it was about eight weeks to feel some semblance of a routine. Stay strong. It gets better! I am learning that every day, and I am thankful to all the ones who keep reminding me of that when I forget.
I was lucky that I had Grayson home all summer before his baby sister was born. I had a lot of quality time alone with him and I am so thankful for that. Now our family is bigger and I am thankful for the positives of him having a sibling at home. He will have so many beautiful experiences and learn so many new lessons by being a big brother and I am grateful for that.