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Forgetting The Unforgettable: The Fog Of The First Year

June 25, 2018

This post was sponsored by Just Born. However, all opinions are mine.

You might have heard new moms talk about the fog of having a new baby. Between sleep deprivation, stress, and everything else that comes with a major life adjustment… infancy can become a blur. The inconvenient truth of that “new mom fog” is that it’s happening at a time when some of the most valuable memories are being made.

But, is the fog of the first year something to mourn, or something to appreciate?

I remember when my oldest (now almost nine) was 18 months old, my hard drive crashed. I had backed nothing up. The first 18 months of his life felt like they got ripped from my brain and disintegrated into thin air. All the photos and videos and documentation were gone. While that might seem like I am being dramatic, the reality is that sometimes the memories of that first year aren’t easily accessible without the help of something tangible like a photo or video. All I had left to look back on were the low resolution photos I posted on Facebook. I blamed the foggy first year on the fact that I was a full time working single mom with little brain space.

With my second baby, I was much more aware of documenting. I felt more prepared for what to expect. This was the first time I was able to stay at home with one of my kids, so I was SURE I would have more clarity and sharp recollections of the tiny things. I started a blog, I transcribed funny memories on to social media outlets. I photographed everything, every day. I remembered to take videos. Yet, again, the first year was a fog. Maybe because she had colic? Maybe because she was a hard baby?

With Lincoln, my last baby, who is rapidly nearing his first birthday, I’ve tried ten times as hard to stay in the moment. I’ve tried to absorb the small moments and savor the memories as they are being made. I have all but begged my brain to remember the little things: how he smells, the funny faces he makes, the way he pokes my face while he’s nursing. He’s had no shortage of photo shoots, and I have no less than 200 video clips of him over the last year. I have had every logical reason to retain every detail… BUT.

Even after all that. I can look back on photos of when he was a newborn and feel the gut punch of not being able to “recall” that feeling. I need the videos to remember the sounds. I need my writings to remember how I felt. Even after THREE kids with THREE different periods of infancy, the strange phenomenon of the blurry first year was the same.

cloud crib sheet

My opinion? It’s a survival mechanism. To be frank, infancy is hard. Being the primary caregiver is exhausting and emotional and exhilarating and maybe our brains just don’t have room for everything. No matter the baby, no matter the mom, the first year will probably be a blur. It’s normal, and it doesn’t mean you missed the mom gene.

What can you do? Be present. Document. Journal. Take all the photos and videos. Lastly, give yourself grace and know that the first year was everything it needed to be and there are many more memories to be had.

musical mobile

plush blanket

throw pillow

Consistently in the background of our memories, is Just Born: a chic infant soft goods company. They make everything from fashion layette, bedding, bath, blankets, nursery décor and more. Just Born always uses the highest quality materials, and created designs that are trendy and stylish. The first year is crazy and messy and… a blur, but it can also be the most beautiful time, too. Just Born encourages parents to recognize and appreciate the “beautiful moments” with their little ones.

The products I linked above under the photos are from the Dream Collection. The collection has pieces in three distinct color palettes, including neutral grey, pink and navy. There is a gorgeous variety of pieces that can be mixed and matched to suit your own aesthetic. As for me? Y’all know how much I love my neutrals!

So who’s with me, mamas? Was the first year of your baby’s life a little foggy? Try to savor those beautiful moments, and use the hashtag #beautifulmoments on social to share them with the rest of us!

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